Monday, September 05, 2005

Rectal Morphine and Grizzlies Bojangles.

Before I begin, there is exciting amazing news. No, it's not about David, the rat who decided to move into our apartment. I have been given the opportunity to guestblog on another site, exposing this blog to an audience of at LEAST ten more people. This is beyond huge. If you love reading online diaries and adore narcissitic pre-med self-involved goodness, I heartily recommend Ally's blog. It's the best Filipino shizzle out there, with the exception of Michelle Malkin. Much love.

I strongly believe in visuals.

As a subtle segway, Ally willingly trudged uptown to partake in the sneak preview "An Unfinished Life," starring Robert Redford, Morgan Freeman and ...J-Lo? Indeed, the Latina bootyshaker somehow managed to get herself involved in a respectable cinematic project for the first time since 1998, which we should all be thankful for. However, as good as J to the Lo is in this, cannot compare with...MORGAN FREEMAN'S BEAR-MAULED ASS. It's totally true, Morgan got mauled by a grizzly and has to get morphine injections into his rectal area. Insanity. For those of you counting, this is the second movie in a row that I've seen in theaters with a fucking grizzly. It never ends. AND J-Lo fucks a guy in a rock quarry. I've now seen it all. It got 3.23 stars from me, as there's an abusive boyfriend subplot that was unnecesssary at best, and occasionally the dialogue is trite and straight out of a May sweeps episode of Dr. Quinn. On the positive side, Robert Redford is HOT with grizzled old man stubble, which is not an easy feat to pull off, let me tell you. Much love to Robert.

No business being that hunkified. None.

As if this Labor Day weekend couldn't get any better...

You are looking at a legitimate cross-breed of a puggie and a beagle. A puggle. Look it up. Totally real. I haven't been this happy since I found that Burger King on 86th. Which was...two days ago. Anyway.

Hey childhood, what's up.
Someone needs to buy me those dvds. Now.


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