TV Theme Songs, Puggies and Other Assorted Shizzle.

My loyal comrade DB Bogangles (who will NOT let me liveblog the Oscars at her party because she fears her social position will be put in jeopardy, and will NOT let me bring a poster that says, "NOTES ON A SCANDAL BOJANGLES!" for reasons that have not been made entirely clear to me, but probably have something to do with the aforementioned social position) and I are about to embark on hardcore momentous blog posts about theme songs, which is a subject near and dear to my cold, cold heart. The tentative format will be a post dedicated to each of our top five tv theme songs, a post dedicated to five honorable mentions, and a post dedicated to theme songs that are so atrocious, we feel compelled to avoid the actual show for fear of being...ear drum poisoned. Which is a new phrase I just invented. If my readership has any suggestions regarding said format dot dot dot.

At work, I was given a postcard advertisement for an art show consisting of dog paintings. The postcard shows a puggie that is viciously humping a furry heart that says, "I Love You." It reminds me of the time I went to a mad sketch street fair in Flemington, NJ in 1998. I played one of those balloon dart games and managed to succcessfully pop two balloons. My prize was a brown furry heart thing that had probably been collecting dust/disease for months. My mom was so repulsed that she gave the carnival vendor $10 so that I could win a stuffed dog with plastic red ears.
I miss the brown furry heart.

I have come to the conclusion that if you were a celebrity teenage boy in the 1990s and you had three names, you were hot. Observe:

Jonathan Taylor Thomas.


True story: My dad was driving me home from grocery shopping at the Grand Union (RIP) and I was scouring a recently purchased issue of Teen Beat, Tiger Beat, 16, Bop, or some such goodness. I was reading aloud the fanmail from JTT, and one girl wrote, "I would drool an ocean for him!" My dad laughed so hard he drove off the road and stopped the car for five minutes until he had enough control over his body to continue down Route 12. Further down the page, another girl brazenly claimed she was the biggest JTT fan ever because she had 25 posters of him up on her bedroom walls. Two weeks later, I had 26. Just to spite her. It is not known if someone found out about my 26 posters and intentionally bought 27 to officially become the biggest JTT fan.

Jason James Richter.

Hmm. He's not as hot as I remember from my first screening of Free Willy.
Several weeks ago, Drunk Erin and I got into a SCREAMING match over Jason James Richter because she kept insisting that Elijah Wood was in Flipper, which he is, but I thought she said Free Willy, so for five minutes, we had an exchange similar to this:
Drunk Erin: I'm telling you, Elijah was in Flipper!
EE: No!!!! IT'S SOME OTHER KID WITH THREE NAMES!
Drunk Erin: Um...that's not the same movie!
EE: YES IT IS!
Drunk Erin: That was Free Willy.
EE: I KNOW! THAT'S WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT!
Drunk Erin: *frowns* Ingrid...I'm sober. Buy me beer.
Ingrid: Okaaaaay.

Look out for the TV theme post goodness. I leave you with a furry heart.