Thursday, August 10, 2006

I Keep Having Dreams About Certain Celebrities Dying. RIP SJP and Val Kilmer.

I also had a dream last night where someone (I won't say who, but they MIGHT have grown up southeast of Moscow...) was trying to kill me while wearing what appeared to be a pig costume. This was infinitely creepier than when I had a similar death dream involving this person and a machete, because that gave off spontaneity and crime of passion vibes. This was premeditated. Anyway.

On the advice of DB Bogangles, who is not anti-this blog like my mother is, our daily Joe Lieberman update will include a Weenie Enema profile of Joe Lieberman's wife, Hadassah, who is not as cool as Teresa Heinz Kerry in the world of politician wives, but she still comes off as pretty badass.

Now, I totally mean this in the nicest way, but...she kind of looks like Alan Cummings in drag. Not that that's unusual for Alan. But I love Hadassah. No disrespect, Joe.

In "Joe Lieberman was Completely Dicked Over By the World" news, Howard Dean is being cunty and telling him to stop running. Howard Dean has been huffing ether for two and a half years now. He is no longer credible in any forum. Joe also fired most of his staff and hired all of his old BFFs, which is exactly what I would have done, but all of my old BFFs went to Europe to find themselves or shitty New Jersey colleges that no one has ever heard of where they think they're better than people who went to NYU, or are in prison. Ned Lamont is still an ass.

Remember that scene in In and Out when Kevin Kline puts on manly clothes and listens to that tape that plays music and tells him not to dance because if he does, he's gay? This looks exactly like Kevin Kline's body right before he starts gyrating.

Oh, and I don't like to take up space to discuss actual celebrity news (I like to make my own celebrity news up. This just in - Arnold Schwarznegger just touched Emma down there. No charges were filed, but a phone number and address were given to Mr. Schwarzenegger.), but I have a lot of difficulty understanding why Matthew McConaughey's car just got sold to someone in an auction for Katrina victims. I don't have a problem helping out people decimated by hurricanes, but Matthew McConaughey has gone on public record numerous times stating that he doesn't use deodorant. Would you want to drive that car? Does no one remember that episode of Seinfeld?




At 7:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What do you mean "unsure!" It's certain that MM has B.O.!


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