Thursday, July 06, 2006

Chris Meloni Impregnated Me With His Specially Victimized Babymaker and All He Got Was A Good Time and an Emmy Nomination.

Yes, the impossible has occurred. Someone other than me recognized how fucking incredible Detective Elliot Stabler is. No more of this Jennifer Garner bullshit or Patricia Arquette getting awards for pretending to connect with corpses. The Academy of Television Arts and Sciences finally gets "it," giving Chris Meloni his first nomination for anything ever, unless you count his Prism award nomination a few years ago. I don't.

The Forehead That Launched A Thousand Ships.

Admittedly, this is old news. I started this post weeks ago and then got distracted with other pressing issues, but now I am back, and it's time for a comprehensive Emmy preview. Also, Drunk Erin and I are having an Emmy party, which means we might be able to convince DB Bogangles and MAYBE that woman who passed out in front of the dialysis center last year to come over. We're very unpopular in this era of post-graduation.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
Larry David - Curb Your Own Enthusiasm
Kevin James - The King of Queens
Tony Shalhoub - Monk
Steve Carell - The Office
Charlie Sheen - Two and a Half Men

This Kevin James nomination reminds me of the Everybody Loves Raymond dilemma that used to follow me everywhere I went. I watched the show. It wasn't funny. And yet every year, it would get nominated for 17 million Emmys and would actually WIN sometimes. I don't see Kevin James even being considered, unless the voters feel sorry for him for having a thankless role in a Will Smith movie, but one has to wonder about the depraved society we live in that thinks The King of Queens is not only a comedy, but is somehow funnier and worthier than, say, reruns of Mr. Ed.
My vote is for Charlie Sheen. He was in Winona's debut - Lucas, 1986.

I heart 30-year-old men playing 16 year olds.

"It's not like I wanted to be the one holding your hand...I just didn't want her to be holding it."

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Christopher Meloni - Law and Order: SVU
Denis Leary - Rescue Me
Peter Krause - Six Feet Under
Kiefer Sutherland - 24
Martin Sheen - The West Wing

I don't think it's particularly fair that Elliot Stabler has to go against insane powerhouses Jack Bauer and President Bartlett on his first run through the awards circuit. It means Chris Meloni probably won't win, but he clearly should, if only for unofficial recognition of when he pees on camera on Oz.


I don't care about most of the other categories, so we'll skip to the most important one
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Kyra Sedgwick - The Closer
Geena Davis - Commander in Chief
Mariska Hargitay - Law and Order: SVU
Frances Conroy - Six Feet Under
Allison Janney - The West Wing

Geena Davis won't win. She can't possibly win. That show sank faster than . It should have been called Speaker of the House and just focused on Donald Sutherland, but hindsight, 20/20, et cetera. Mariska forever.


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