Sunday, November 20, 2005

Male Raping, Raw Food and Highlighters: The Story of Crazy Mego


In a little while, I will be devoting a post to the amazing adventures I had yesterday with Devra Bogangles at the 30th Annual Westchester Cat Show. However, I was given a golden opportunity this afternoon to interview the infamous Crazy Mego, who has become something of a legend amongst the former inhabitants of the W---- dormitory from the 2002-2003 school year. While this interview doesn't provide a complete picture that will allow the novice to understand her reputation and moniker, I have not edited her responses in a bid to preserve the essence of Crazy Mego.

Note: this is not a mature interview in any sense of the word, so if you're looking for an interview comparable with our West Point installments, you will be disappointed.

For further understanding:
MyDadIsAWeenie: E.E. Grimshaw
HurricainFran: Drunk Erin
angelfisheyny: Michelle
Sanock42: Mikey Sanocki
bellasnodoubt: J
KranBeRRii: Sarah Alfone
B--------: Crazy Mego
LadyKim1: Kim Wong
NYStateofMind623: Morgan G.

You have just entered room "iheartinterviews."
MyDadIsAWeenie: we're interviewing crazy mego
KranBeRRii: emma what story did you tell me about this chick
KranBeRRii: at the pirate party
Sanock42: Emma went to a pirate party?
Sanock42: Omg, way to be Looby.
MyDadIsAWeenie: STOP THAT
MyDadIsAWeenie: I AM NOT LOOBY
MyDadIsAWeenie: IT WAS A SOCIETAL OBLIGATION
Sanock42: Whatever, Looby.
bellasnodoubt: can we talk about the time mr big wanted to sex you at w------?
B--------: yes - but it wasn't at w----------
MyDadIsAWeenie: wait!
MyDadIsAWeenie: crazy mego
MyDadIsAWeenie: tell everyone how we know you
MyDadIsAWeenie: and then we can discuss mr big
B--------: we met at w-------- I was m----'s roomate
bellasnodoubt: i met her through emma
bellasnodoubt: how else would i have friends?
HurricainFran: paying for sex?
bellasnodoubt: true
B------------: I was at a bar and mr. big grabbed me and started talking to me in an irish accent
bellasnodoubt: ewww
HurricainFran: Oh, thats hot
B------------: then he baught me some drinks
angelfisheyny: how tall is he
B------------: he was sitting down
HurricainFran: did you do him sitting down?
B------------: we were sitting down
bellasnodoubt: sitting on his penis?
B------------: i didn't dop him .. I onlu would have laid him if it meant i could go home with him and see his place
B------------: he wanted to come back to p------- .. and that wasn't about to happen
MyDadIsAWeenie: i don't understand why mr big would want to go to p-------
B------------: i didn't either
B------------: i think cause i said i had 12 female roomates
bellasnodoubt: b/c he has a college virgin rape fantasy
angelfisheyny: he probably would have had a good time
MyDadIsAWeenie: why did you say no
B------------: i thought when i said no then he would say "come back to my place then"
B------------: but my plan wasn't properly thought out i guess
angelfisheyny: i can't imagine not bringing chris noth home to a room full of 12 girls
bellasnodoubt: tell me about it
B------------: however ... he did tell me that every friday him and his friends go to some restaraunt called ...
B------------: don marinos?
B------------: something like that - and i shoulkds top in .. i neevr did .. still should though

MyDadIsAWeenie: why are you called crazy mego
HurricainFran: because she declined mr big?
bellasnodoubt: lol
angelfisheyny: hahahahha
B------------: you named me
B------------: so you can answer that one
angelfisheyny: because one was crazy and one was blue?
MyDadIsAWeenie: and there was a red one
MyDadIsAWeenie: and a virginia one
HurricainFran: You got off lucky, I'm "The drunken bitch from Michigan"
MyDadIsAWeenie: and this one wandered around w-------- with toe separaters and a wife beater
Lady kim1: and won that assassins game
MyDadIsAWeenie: yes, mego, can we hear a bit more about assassins
MyDadIsAWeenie: i forgot about that and how good you were
B------------: i won assassins
MyDadIsAWeenie: how did you win
Lady kim1: yes, yes you did
B------------: I WON W-------- ASSASSINS
MyDadIsAWeenie: wait!
Lady kim1: woohoo!
MyDadIsAWeenie: will either kim or mego explain what assassins is
B------------: you get someones picture with a word on it
Lady kim1: you hafta make that person say that word
B------------: you find the person in the picture - you find a creative way to get them to say the word in a convo
HurricainFran: Thats a great game!
Lady kim1: if they say it, you get their assassins assignment pic and then you hafta hunt down their person
B------------: once they say it - you tell them they have been assassinated and you confiscate their photo that hey have of someone else
B------------: SO - i totally won
MyDadIsAWeenie: kim, did crazy mego assassinate you, so to speak
Lady kim1: no, but i think she got other megan
MyDadIsAWeenie: virginia?
Lady kim1: yeh
B-----------: (ps i don't remember any of these people)

MyDadIsAWeenie: can you explain the different diets you have had since i've met you
MyDadIsAWeenie: because they're very interesting
MyDadIsAWeenie: and explain a lot about you
angelfisheyny: ya how is the raw food going
B------------: i used to eat low carb
B------------: and now i am a raw foodist
B------------: it's hot
B------------: but lately i cheat sometimes
B------------: like .. i eat baked beans .. me and my kitten eat baked beans together
Lady kim1: ...
MyDadIsAWeenie: why did you start the low carb diet
B------------: i was young and stupid .. low carb seemed the way to go .. and i could eat whatever i wanted as long as it was low carb
MyDadIsAWeenie: okay, why did you change from low carb to raw
B------------: i woke up one morning ... i thought "from this way forward, I am a raw foodist" ... you (emma) were the onl person online at the time, so I recall IMing you "Emma, mark my words, from this day forward I am a raw foodist."
B------------: i eat raw, vegan food
B------------: nothing heated or processed
B------------: all organic

MyDadIsAWeenie: what's the name of your kitten
Lady kim1: crazy kitten?
B------------: L.B.
-------------: for Living Beanbag
MyDadIsAWeenie: what is beanbag
B------------: beanbag is my cat ive had since i was a baby
angelfisheyny: megan what do you think of britney's husband and his braids
B------------: britney will be taking over christina applegate's role in sweet charity (rumor has it)
B------------: what brinttney likes, I like

MyDadIsAWeenie: what are you currently doing now that you're not at nyu
B-------------: I teach group exercise classes and personal train ... and am auditionin more and more
MyDadIsAWeenie: can we talk about keith
B------------: Keith ... well .. i liked him
B------------: i saw him about ... 6 months ago ... the magic had certainl left
bellasnodoubt: mego, are you currently dating anyone?
HurricainFran: Translation: Jocelyn wants a shot with you
B------------: um .. well .. i haven't been laid in a vary long time .. so if you know anybody ..
HurricainFran: Jocelyn knows "somebody"
Lady kim1: what counts as a "very long time"?
B------------: a year and a half
B-------------: i currently have a crush ... and i am sort of dating this one guy who is cute but boring ... but do-able if we ever get that farr
MyDadIsAWeenie: okay, can we discuss seth
B------------: i fucked seth for 2+ years and like him a lot
B------------: I now stalk him as best i can and happen to know he is in a relationship
MyDadIsAWeenie: how did you meet him
B-------------: we met at a club ... i forget the name of iit
MyDadIsAWeenie: crazy mego, can we discuss the animosity between yourself and several members of 5th floor w---------
Lady kim1: 5a? or 5b?
MyDadIsAWeenie: 5a
B--------------: they hated me .. i don't know why
bellasnodoubt: is it because she maturbated with sylvia simsons highlighters?
B--------------: well .. jen and I were both hooking up with mr. shine ...
B-------------: krupa and the othe rweridos ... i don't knwo ... hate
B--------------: richard apparently wanted to lay me because he did attempt to ask me out this yeasr .. yes, THIS year after I hadn't seen him since freshman year
B--------------: so .. i guess he was haitng me in revers at the time
MyDadIsAWeenie: as i recall, you didn't get along with the people next door to you because you would blast britney at all hours of the night
B------------: well .. what can i say .. i like to dance
B--------------: my current neighbors dont mind .. at least they don't say anything if they do ...
MyDadIsAWeenie: okay, we need to bring this up
MyDadIsAWeenie: there are actually three subjects that must be touched on
MyDadIsAWeenie: one is you getting drunk and wrecking havoc on sylvia's room three years ago
MyDadIsAWeenie: two is you technically raping a guy
MyDadIsAWeenie: and the third is you biting a bouncer and getting kicked out of a club
MyDadIsAWeenie: thoughts?
B---------------: well .. it was an accident .. all three
B----------------: i got carried away in all three situations
bellasnodoubt: that was the best answer ever
B--------------: i ... tend to ... get carried away
MyDadIsAWeenie: okay, does anyone else have any questions
MyDadIsAWeenie: i would have liked to discuss sylvia's highlighters in more detail, but that can wait
Lady kim1: can it?
B---------------: yes yes, it can
B--------------: there's not much detail
B-------------: I just wanted to taint them a bit .. and what better a way then to ...

MyDadIsAWeenie: okay okay
MyDadIsAWeenie: i think we're done here
B------------: ok, goodnight friends
B------------- has left the room.
bellasnodoubt: goodnight?
HurricainFran: I LOVE her
bellasnodoubt: i dont think its night
MyDadIsAWeenie: before we end this officially
MyDadIsAWeenie: i would like to ask everyone in the room a question
MyDadIsAWeenie: what is your favorite story or aspect of crazy mego's existence
bellasnodoubt: mr big
NYStateofMind623: dude... one night at w-----------.. my roommate had already moved out for the summer and i was ecstatic so a friend and i were having a couple of beers
NYStateofMind623: and out of nowhere, crazy mego comes knocking on my door.. mind you i had never met her or had any clue who she was... yelling at me that i was bouncing a ball on the wall and bothering her
NYStateofMind623: mind you, i lived in 631.. on the other side of the stairwell and 1 floor above her
Lady kim1: lol!
bellasnodoubt: i heart mego
NYStateofMind623: i invited her in to ensure her that there was no ball
MyDadIsAWeenie: jocelyn
MyDadIsAWeenie: since we don't have crazy mego here anymore
MyDadIsAWeenie: can you regale us with the garbage man story
bellasnodoubt: i dont really know much about it, but i believe she met him at a club, took a pic of him with her camera phone, made him an entry in the stud notebook, and turned what should have been a one night stand into something a lot more
MyDadIsAWeenie: that wasn't the garbage man
MyDadIsAWeenie: that was keith, the only person in the stud notebook that was a one night stand
bellasnodoubt: oh
wehateallmovment has entered the room.
MyDadIsAWeenie: weenie!
MyDadIsAWeenie: i have one question
MyDadIsAWeenie: and then you can go
MyDadIsAWeenie: favorite crazy mego fact or story
NYStateofMind623: dude this chicky is nuts
wehateallmovment: probably the rape
MyDadIsAWeenie: that's my favorite too
MyDadIsAWeenie: it's a shame we didn't get a lot of time to discuss the rape with mego
MyDadIsAWeenie: because it's the only time i've ever heard of a girl legit raping a guy
NYStateofMind623: oh someone explain this to me
MyDadIsAWeenie: she was hooking up with a guy
MyDadIsAWeenie: she said she wanted to have sex
MyDadIsAWeenie: he said no
MyDadIsAWeenie: she shoved his dick in her
MyDadIsAWeenie: and he pulled it out
MyDadIsAWeenie: and never called her again
NYStateofMind623: whoa
NYStateofMind623: imagine he was a virgin
bellasnodoubt: maybe thats why he pulled out
MyDadIsAWeenie: wasn't the damage done by that point
NYStateofMind623: i'd imagine that would be every guy's fantasy
MyDadIsAWeenie: i thank all of our panelists
MyDadIsAWeenie: for an excellent discussion
Lady kim1: should we take a bow?
bellasnodoubt: no

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