Friday, November 04, 2005

I Know Someone Who Was on Elimidate.

Jeffrey Grimshaw called me from his shitty Nokia crap phone today to complain about me not updating my online masterpiece. I swore at him and tried to get him to buy me a dysentary t-shirt, but I have decided to heed his advice, as I have mad shizzle to report.
Number 1 - the New York Post reads this blog.
There is no other explanation for how a puggle got on their front page yesterday. As loyal readers will remember, I reported on the glory of puggie beagle hybrids WEEKS ago, and yet the Post is trying to claim it as their own. However, it's hard to stay mad at a publication that covered Winona's trial more diligently than CourtTV. Mad props.
Time for some puggle goodness.

It looks like it's wearing Depends. <3.

Number 2 - no one but me watches Commander in Chief.
If this wasn't true, then someone other than me would have seen the blatant Bush slam during this week's episode and reported on it. To my knowledge, no one has. The idea is that President Geena is in Florida surveying hurricane damage, and she's reading a book to a bunch of displaced children. There's an oil tanker crisis offshore, and her Chief of Staff whispers the news in her ear. She stops reading the book.
Sound familiar? Hmmm. Wasn't Bush in Florida on September 11th...reading a book to a bunch of kids...and...kept on reading? Now, I never complained about that. I thought Kerry was totally dumb for ever bringing it up, since he wasn't the President at that time and thus has no idea what was going on in Bush's head. Come on. Politics aside, why did Commander in Chief feel the need to bring it up again? It's deliciously bitchy and immature at the same time. Like all the coverage of Tara Reid's nipple exposure. I'm probably just bitter because I'm really starting to hate the girl on that show, since she's apparently going to fuck some guy next week on camera. Come on, Geena Davis raised you better than that.

Skank ho.

One of my comrade co-workers was a reality show slut a couple of years ago, and has a dating show resume, the likes of which I have never seen.
Go here and click on Billionaire Bride. She's the white one that says, "I don't think turned ON is the right word." I've always wanted to know a non-celebrity celebrity, like that one girl in Now and Then that didn't become famous.
I'm trying to get her to contribute to the blog, because she has a potentially scathing piece on the inter-office drama that goes on at the Wall Street Transcript, and it could get us both fired. I value my financial future...not at all.

The people in the apartment across the way are doing sex stuff, so I'm going to end this prematurely and watch.
Before I go all voyeuristic, do you know how to connect Winona and Marilyn Monroe in six moves or less?

Marilyn was in Some Like it Hot with Jack Lemmon.


Jack Lemmon was in Grumpy Old Men with Ann Margaret.


Ann Margaret was in Newsies with Christian Bale.

Oops. Those were REAL newsies.

THERE'S the Welsh newsie.

Christian Bale was in Little Women with Winona.

Orgasmic.net.

1 Comments:

At 10:21 AM, Anonymous Chloe said...

Emma! Have you heard of the new Labrador and Poodle cross? They're weird looking but awesome anyway because they're called "Labradoodles" (I think they let Ned Flanders come up with the name). Labradoodle. Doodle.

 

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