Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Tuesday Night TV = Orgasmic

Several years ago, a lovely teen drama called Dawson's Marsh Creek appeared out of nowhere on the WB, starring the male Helen Hunt, the Smirking Cunt Douche Fuck, a pudgy Canadian from the Mighty Ducks and Michelle Williams, soon to be Academy Award nominated for her stellar work in Brokeback Mountain. On a sidenote, who wants to come with me to watch the gay cowboys Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhal ride bareback in...3 months? Anyone?

"I wish I knew how to quit you!"

I had a point here...Oh yes. So the first season of Dawson ends, and it's incredible, you have one of the best directed TV kisses of all time, et cetera. Then the WB does something unpardonable. They moved Dawson to Wednesday nights, directly opposite 90210. At the time, I had to make a choice. This was still in the age of one TV in the household, and I correctly chose Dawson. Besides, 90210 was becoming a hipper Golden Girls, so it wasn't much of a sacrifice. What does this have to do with anything? ABC is the victimizer this time, putting the INCREDIBLE Commander in Chief opposite Fox's House M.D., equally amazing in its medical crippled splendor.

Thankfully, I don't have to take drastic action right now. The Rally Monkey and Co. has taken up Fox's time for the next several weeks, and I can watch Geena Davis politically molest Donald Sutherland. Molest in it's original Latin meaning.

"Stop molesting me in the Latin sense."

Kiefer should do a guest spot as a pedophile trying to impregnate the first daughter. Remember Lost Boys? "Now you know what we are, and now you know what you are." Best movie from the 80s.

"You must feast!"

A quick note: SVU was wretched beyond repair. Elliot Stabler is a looney with an anger management problem. We know this. These episodes where Elliot goes apeshit and starts crying to a shrink are tedious at best. You know what they should do? Instead of 60 minutes of 'roid rage and Mary Useless Masterson, they should just put this picture up NONSTOP FROM 10 TO 11.

What a nutjob. Pun!
Oh God, I found a picture of naked Donald Sutherland. Such is life.

I think my blog officially became porn. I'm sorry. This might be a bad time to show a naked Heath Ledger in Brokeback Mountain.

Can they shut me down for this?

In other news, Katie the Rally Monkey lives on. I hope Newt Gingrich grabs it and suffocates it under his left bitch tit.


That might be the most nauseating image I have ever concocted. And there are pictures of Katie Holmes on here.

2 Comments:

At 1:49 AM, Anonymous ninjageisha said...

Thanks for the naked Donald Sutherland...I owe my sex life to that man... and is it true that he has no official fansite.. well one has always existed in my heart...

 
At 3:08 PM, Blogger Joanne Casey said...

I'm not ashamed to say I found your blog by googling "Naked Donald Sutherland".

 

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