Dr. House Makes Me Feel Funny...Down There.

Yesterday, I tried to get Maximillion Bojangles to issue a vicarious blog/press statement for me about the blogger party because I was forced to go to New Jersey for emergency teddy bear reconstructive surgery. (Big Bear looks divine, he has a brown felt bowtie now so that his head doesn't fall off. It kind of reminds me of that story about the girl with the yellow ribbon...) Since he is pre-med and subsequently has issues with a Hippocrates-like higher power, this was in vain. But if he DID do it, it would look like this:

My name is Maximillion Bojangles. I am pre-med. On behalf of E. E. Grimshaw, I would like to extend a truce offering of sorts to Karol from Alarming News. Awkward was clearly not the right word to use for the discussion. Emma thinks that everyone is afraid of her, because she is an only child and is a bit "off." When you take that and combine it with Karol's calm and collected Russian exterior, there can be misperceptions like the wolf.

It's probably for the best that Maximillion didn't write it, he doesn't know how to convey my irreverent nature yet.

My last note on the blogger party for the near future: it was amazing, and all of you cunty things that didn't go because you were afraid of bloggers - eat a dick. Karol and Dawn are badass defined, which is a rare commodity in a city that appears to breed homeless thugs with shit-filled pants on the subway. <3 et cetera.

Last week, I had huge huge plans to liveblog Dr. House, because it's the best show on television when SVU is in a slump. Since Fox is going to be showing playoff games that don't feature the Mets for the next month or so, I strongly suggest you take that time to buy or rent Season 1 of House and drool at the sarcastic cripple that is Hugh Laurie.

Dr. House, I need your penis in me - STAT.

Hugh Laurie must be the only person in the world that has had the honor and privilage of participating in the production of Spice World AND...a medical show with Robert Sean Leonard.