Vibrators Marketed For Mass Consumption

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I'm sure you all have seen or are at least aware of the newest technology in shaving products presented to us by the Gillette corporation. Perhaps thought up by a Gillette employee browsing around in a 6th avenue sex shop (although he/she might deny it), this line of vibrating razors is available for both men and women...but what is the exact purpose of the vibrating ability, besides extorting a few extra dollars from your wallet?!

M3, the vibrating razor for men, is supposed to provide a closer shave by raising the hairs so that the excessive amount of 3 blades can shave closer to the skin. While flashing images of sleek and sexy cars done in the same color scheme as an M3 razor (black and green), Gillette promises men that with their product, you can obtain a smoother shave. Without the vibrations, we are led to believe that the hair will remain in a prone state, almost seeking refuge in the folds of skin, only to emerge after the shave victorious against the blade shrieking something like "Mwahaha! Take that you glammed up vibrator!" Well fie on you stubbly male hairs...fie indeed.

Venus Vibrance, the female counterpart of the M3, looks pretty much the same as the M3, except it is available in girlier colors. Honestly, I prefer the manly black and green instead of the bubble gum pink...Regardless, the odd thing about the Venus Vibrance is that it is said to exfoliate the skin with its vibrating action. What happened to raising the hairs with the vibrations?? Do the girlie colors somehow hinder the hair raising experience? With the Venus Vibrance, we seem to be telling hairs that we will allow them to remain in their prone state as long as we can remove all the flakes of dead skin surrounding them. No matter what we do, the hairs are winning!

Anyway, the question that I want answered is this ---> Why, if the M3 and the Venus Vibrance are the same, does Gillette feel the need to create two different marketing ploys to entice potential users? In today's world of metrosexuality, there is a greater emphasis placed on maintaining ones physical awesomeness without fear of being seen as a pansy, so why wouldn't men want to exfoliate? Also, I've seen some unruly female leg hairs that could use some vibration induced raising...it's kind of frightening actually. So please, Gillette, create a razor that lifts hair AND exfoliates...Oh wait, you have? The M3 and the Venus Vibrance actually do the same thing?! No way! You lie! Really? They're exactly the same, except for the color scheme?? Well I'll be damned...this blog was unnecessary after all.