Tuesday, June 21, 2005

If Someone Amazing Not Associated with the American Film Institute AKA Me was Picking the Best Movie Quotes Ever.

These quotes on CBS are so predictable. You know that "Casablanca" and "The Godfather" are going to dominate the top 10, and because it's a network broadcast, none of the really great profanity-laced quotes are even going to crack the top 100. The trick to making an incredible list of movie quotes with curse words seeping off the page is by attributing every single quote to Winona Ryder or Arnold Schwarzenegger. Observe:
1. "You are one...ugly...mother fucker." - Predator, 1987

2. "Well, fuck me with a chain saw, Heather!" - Heathers, 1988

I could legitimately going on forever. I won't. I feel my point has been made and then some.

Today Dick Durbin, one of the more accurately named senators, decided that it might be a good idea to apologize to the nation for comparing our military to Hitler Youth. A strong policy move, I feel. To cap off this delightful speech, he did a Tom Cruise: exhibited emotions he doesn't actually feel to alleviate the pressure of being called a cocksucker. He started crying, and issued yet another non-apology apology in which he said he was sorry for offending people. A bit better than his original non-apology, in which he essentially said that people should not have been offended at the comparison of Guantanamo Bay with gulags. He still remains more unpopular in his home state than Linda Blair does in hers (I'm not sure what state she's from, I just hope it's not mine), but it's a step in the right direction.

Over the last week, I've been hard on several people in the Senate, so I would like to end with a good word for several of our lads in Congress: the hunkified representatives of the state of Minnesota:

Norm Coleman, sexual wonderdog.

Look at those eyes. They send you into another orgasmic dimension. Mark Dayton 4eva.
CSPAN2 = Playboy Channel.


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