Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Unless You're Meryl Streep, Winning An Oscar Means Watching Your Significant Other Diddle Someone Other Than Yourself.

Bear with me here.
In 2006, Reese Witherspoon won the Best Actress Academy Award for Walk the Line.

Then Ryan Philippe cheats on her with Abbie Cornish.

In 2005, Hilary Swank won the Academy Award for Million Dollar Baby.

Then she and Chad Lowe got divorced. But I wouldn't stay married to someone who had sex with their mother on SVU either.

In 2003, Nicole Kidman won for The Hours. I guess that doesn't count, since she'd been divorced from Tom Cruise for two years at that point.

But she decided to marry a cokehead country star. So yes, I've belatedly decided that that counts.

In 2001, Julia Roberts won for Erin Brockovich.

And then broke up with Benjamin Bratt.

In 1999, Gwyneth the Cunt stepped up to the plate with the script she stole from Wino.

You are the anti-Christ.
She may not fit into my pattern, but Ben Affleck probably broke up with her around this time when he realized he was dating an ANIMAL.


At 2:41 PM, Blogger Fishhead said...

dear emma,

please put me back on the blog. i want to write an entry detailing every aspect of gwyneth paltrow's worthlessness.

thank you
michelle e.


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